What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 18.06.2025 02:12
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
In the TV show Supernatural, why is God portrayed as cruel?
I was scared of men, in general
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
A recipe to reverse cancer’s sweet tooth - Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Would the word literate carry the same meaning with public (common wealth) in 1900 vs today 2020?
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Ive learnt so much.
I was seconnd youngest,
Why is social media so anti-fee speech, and have they become total BS?
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
What is it like to date a women 20 years younger than yourself?
My family never makes their pension either.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
How did Nickelback gain a large fan base despite criticism of their music?
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
How can MeTV Toons compete with other national broadcast TV networks?
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
(And it was in our own minds.)
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Why is our generation so unhappy?
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
I don,t even have a pension.
Which current F1 drivers should switch teams based on historical patterns?
What did i know ?
She wouldn,t have been !
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Have you ever lied to your family? What were the circumstances?
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Why do some children hate their parents?
My life is so biszare .
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Has anyone shared his wife with a friend? How was it?
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Why did i forgive my father ?
I was 9 years of age.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
When she asked me how she looked .
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
She was in good health!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
But it wasn’t much.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
As i do to all so called friends.?
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
He resisted the act ,that day.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Who then, do I blame.?
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
All the time i was locked up.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Im still living with it.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
This is soul school!.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Was to survive, this bastard.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
He knew the spot.
And i lived it daily.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
So, i spoilt her more .
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
One cannot live in the past .
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Would this be the day?
Im dying but, im not bitter.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Comes on , in middle age.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
The only rule us 5 kids had .
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I have no regrets .
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
So whats the point in blame.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
But ive been too sick for many years..
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
She married twice! .
But, we were locked up after school.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
I could never make a relationship work though!
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Especially a lifetime of it.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
We all went to grammer schools
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
I will be 64.
It was going to be , some day.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
I never cut or harmed myself..
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I write beautiful poetry .
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
We were not on the streets..
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
I was very sick at this time too.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
She found it foreign!.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
She loved him until the end.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
Put me off passion for life!!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
I said to her
I couldn’t, believe it.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
I waited trembling.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I think the readers, may guess!